Drunk Ass Dinos

Approximately 65 million years ago, a measly little asteroid collided with Earth causing an extinction level event for many species, including dinosaurs — or so we thought! When scientists discovered Hollow Earth (as depicted in the documentary film Godzilla vs Kong), we learned that dinosaurs, among other species, managed to survive, thrive, and evolve right beneath our feet! Their uninterrupted evolutionary progress has taken the dinosaurs from the basic creatures fossil records showed them to be and transformed them into an advanced civilization not unlike our own. Dinosaurs have acquired a fashion sense, language arts, and — most notably — discovered the alchemic wonder of fermentation! These Drunk Ass Dinos (DADs) wander Hollow Earth slurring their words, vomiting their neanderthal snacks, and devoting all their sober energy to finding a way upward to the mystical floating nightlight of ancient lore — WEN MOON?! With that being said, and as is to be expected, the dinosaurs wish to rejoin Top Earth society! We have managed to secure visas for 10,000 dinosaurs, and with your financial sponsorship we can bring these newcomers topside! Once you’ve brought these DADs into your home you can teach them a new phrase and watch them regurgitate those words back to you via a translator bubble. Currently, due to the insurmountable language barrier, the DADs are limited in the amount they can comprehend and repeat so keep it short and simple. Don’t miss this opportunity to be a hero in this very real and not fictional moment of history!!!